Confessions of a Witty Waitress

I’ve been waitressing for about 2 years now at a popular chain restaurant and let me tell ya… the love/hate relationship flourishes in both directions after every shift.

LOVE: FAST MONEY

we cant stop, miley cyrus, eating money

#selfexplanatory #themoneyisthmotive

LOVE: BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN

They give me incredibly high expectations on how my future children might look… *sigh*

mason disick, keeping up with the kardashians

HATE: MESSY/ LOUD CHILDREN

fat baby

Cancels cute factors immediately…IMMEDIATELY.
#cleanmysectionchild #whomadethisbigmess #YOUchild

HATE: PEOPLE THAT DON’T TIP AT LEAST 20%

will smith
*takes a breather* It’s honestly just unfair to us as servers. Most of us get paid $2.14 hourly.

HATE: THE UNCERTAINTY

You never know how slow/busy the restaurant is going to be. You never know what section you’re going to get. You never know how high your checks are going to be and how much a table is going to tip you. #everydayisamystery

 kirsten stewart

HATE: CLOSING

oprah

One must mentally prepare themselves to close a restaurant…

HATE: MODIFICATION OVERLOAD

“May I have the Chipotle Burger cooked medium rare. Can I substitute the lettuce, tomato, and onion for a couple slices of avocado? Also, can I add bacon and instead of fries.. May I have sautéed spinach?”

What I say:

michelle tanner, full house
How I feel inside:

squidward, spongebob

If you have to make so many changes to an entree… keep reading the menu and choose something else. Usually, a lot of work goes into preparing these recipes by experienced chefs. For the most part, there’s a reason the foods are paired up the way they are. Unless a serious allergy is the case, too many modifications are a capital N O.

HATE: ALLERGIES

One allergy is okay. My restaurant has an allergy book that makes it simple for guests with an allergy to choose something to eat. HOWEVER, if you have more than one, you’re entering a danger zone when you choose to eat at a restaurant.

meg griffin, family guy

LOVE: MY COWORKERS

#SQUAAAD Anytime one is with a group of people enduring the same struggle, bonds are easily made.

friends

to be continued…

Best always,
CEO

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Christine Gets Interviewed

QUESTION 1: WHICH SOCIAL MEDIA OR DIGITAL MARKETING BLOGS OR NEWS SOURCES DO YOU READ ON A DAILY BASIS?

Desired Response: On a daily basis I visit a combination of Web-focused publications. Reading on a daily basis is a must in this type of position because major changes literally happen over night to social media platforms, search engine algorithms, mobile apps, websites, “smart devices” and other social media and digital marketing tools. I’m always looking to learn as much as I can to stay ahead of the curve.

My response:

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I keep up with news via Twitter. Following newspapers (The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, USA Today, etc), personalities that range from Barack Obama to David Tutera, news shows (TODAY, Dr.Oz, FOX News, NBC, CBS, etc), magazines (SELF MagazinePsychology Today, etc), and online publications (Mashable, PRWeb, PR News, etc).

QUESTION 2: DO YOU WRITE YOUR OWN SOCIAL MEDIA AND DIGITAL MARKETING CONTENT? IF SO, WHAT IS YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS?

Desired Response: I prefer to write my own content for social media and digital marketing updates and campaigns, because I already have the end goal and strategy in mind. My creative process includes planning sessions, content reviews, the use of a social media content calendar, a posting tool if I’m posting to multiple sites per day. The content should all be guided by the strategy to ensure that the company is exceeding the set goals and expectations.

My response: I do write my own content whenever I feel inspired. I get inspired with the media and my surroundings.

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In general, whenever I have an idea for a blog post, I write it down and get to it after I do further research. If I ever have writers’ block, I listen to music and that usually helps a lot.

QUESTION 3: EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEO AND SEM.

Desired Response: Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is the process of affecting the placement of a website in natural, unpaid (organic) search engine results. Search engine marketing (SEM) is a form of Internet marketing that affects the placement of a website in the search engine page results through a combination of SEO and paid advertising tactics.

My response:

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*opens new tab and googles* According to Staples.com, SEO is focused on organic search results — getting to the top of the list when a user searches for keywords related to your business. SEM revolves around choosing the right keywords to invest advertising dollars in when you want to appear in the paid search results on major search engines.  I prefer SEO because I have experience tagging my life away and building an online community with tags organically. In the long run, it’s more effective when building an online community. To optimize your business virtually, a combination of both works best.

QUESTION 4: WE’RE LOOKING TO GET AHEAD OF OUR COMPETITION. WHAT TACTICS, TIPS OR TRICKS WILL YOU USE TO GIVE OUR COMPANY THAT EDGE?

Desired Response: I wouldn’t say that I use tricks in any social media or digital marketing strategy. I’m not a “black hat” marketer. I play by the common code of conduct for Internet marketing and like to conduct assessments, research and constantly adjust our content and strategy to generate the best performance. What will give a company an “edge” is being educated, trying new marketing techniques and managing your online reputation.

My response: Honestly, I rely heavily on my creativity.

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I’m always thinking outside of the octagon.

QUESTION 5: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN USING SOCIAL MEDIA SITES FOR PERSONAL OR BUSINESS USE? CAN YOU PROVIDE SOME LINKS?

Desired Response: I have been using social media sites professionally for about 5 years, but I have been using them personally for much longer. I’m more than happy to provide links to my previous work, marketing campaigns and personal social media accounts.

My response:

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I took on an Information Technology class my freshman year of college and my first thought was: “Well…this might as well be MySpace 101.” I ended up picking it up the minor and became certified upon graduation.

QUESTION 6: WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING AND DIGITAL MARKETING? HOW DOES THAT RELATE TO OUR COMPANY?

Desired Response: Social media marketing is the process of generating awareness, website traffic or new business through the use of social media sites. Digital marketing is a marketing process that brings leads and new business to a company through the use of digital channels such as email, social networks, smart phones and more. Often a misconception, internet marketing is a component of digital marketing. After conducting some basic research about your company, I can form an idea of how social media marketing and digital marketing could play a role and what the return might be. However, I’d like to conduct a full assessment before I tell you what role that will be.

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My response:  In this day in age, social media marketing and digital marketing is about humanizing a business with a clear voice.

QUESTION 7: AS A SOCIAL MEDIA AND DIGITAL MARKETING PROFESSIONAL, WHICH PLATFORMS OR TOOLS DO YOU SEE AS THE UP AND COMING SITES THAT WE SHOULD KEEP OUR EYE ON?

Desired Response: In 2013 social media has become all about engagement. With that, we should be looking to sites like Vine, Instagram, Pinterest and the new MySpace. We should also be constantly be looking at what’s new with Google, as their new products and features could benefit B2C companies. Of course, all of this should be consistent with the goals and approaches set out in our strategy.

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My response: Video sharing sites aren’t going anywhere anytime soon (YouTube, Vine, etc). All existing platforms will make sure video becomes an easy to use feature on their site. I can see businesses using SnapChat to really connect with their users on a personal level. I can also see the power of the hashtag continuing to grow.

QUESTION 10: IF WE HIRE YOU, WHAT IS THE FIRST THING THAT YOU WOULD DO FOR THE COMPANY IN THIS POSITION?

Desired Response: The first thing I would do is to meet with the team and determine what goals we want to set using social media and digital marketing. After that, I would conduct an assessment on the company and its competition to gauge where we are in the social media and digital marketing space.

My response:

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I would first develop a social media/digital marketing plan for the company. The plan would be incredibly detailed and would not be finalized until all of the company’s administrators approved of it. Then, I would execute the plan. As time went on and the metrics showcased the results of the marketing efforts I would set up weekly meetings to discuss what in the plan is working and what needs to be altered.

 

Desired responses courtesy of Website Magazine

If Beyonce Wrote a Cover Letter…

Dear Hiring Manager,

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It is with tremendous enthusiasm that I submit my application for this position  with your company. As a professional in the entertainment business with over ten years’ experience, I know my diverse skills and qualifications will make me an asset to this team.

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As you will see from the attached resume, I’ve built my career in a variety of roles and industries, mostly in modest ventures.

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I’m not only used to wearing many hats, I sincerely enjoy it; I thrive in an environment where no two work days are exactly the same.

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In addition to being flexible and responsive, I’m also a fanatic for details – particularly when it comes to presentation.

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In closing, I am thrilled at the possibility of being involved with your company and would love the opportunity to meet with you and discuss the value that I can bring to the team.

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I appreciate your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.

Warmest regards,

Queen B

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Cover letter courtesy of Alison Green

Video

#ThrowbackThursday: Come Clean- Hilary Duff

If you didn’t know this song by heart because of the countless Laguna Beach reruns on MTV, we can’t be friends… The original teen Disney Princess hit a home run with this song.

“I’m shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin”

Best Always,

CEO

7 Things To Never Settle For In A Relationship

Inspired by the article called 7 Things To Never Settle For In A Relationship by Tricia Miller published by Thought Catalog, here are 7 more things to never settle for in a relationship:

1. Someone cocky.

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Well put Bender…

Humility is a prime and rare virtue in a males nowadays. Don’t ever go for the man that was suave on the first date, someone who really likes you will always be a little nervous.

2. Someone who makes you feel inferior.

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My hero Joe…

Your relationship shouldn’t be a follower-leader relationship. If you want someone who will treat you like an inferior, go find a job with a boss. Your partner should make you feel like what you are, an equal.

3. Someone who doesn’t listen to you, like really listen.

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Listen like Lloyd…

If your partner is constantly changing the subject or you feel as if he can’t carry a conversation with him, dump him. Someone who really likes you will talk about anything that you want to talk about.

4. Someone who doesn’t notice when you’ve changed something dramatic about yourself.

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It’s Wayne’s world we just live in it…

There’s a difference between not noticing a 1-inch haircut and a loss of 30 lbs. Leave, immediately.

5. Someone who treats their mother like crap.

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His relationship with his mother is a good indicator of what his relationship with other women will be like. Pay close attention.

6. Someone who treats waiters or animals like crap.

Why have this..

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When you can have:

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7. Someone who refuses to consider opinions and beliefs that are different than their own.

Close-minded people never make it far in life and are just annoying. You don’t need that kind of person in your life.

giphy (28)YES BRITNEY YES!

Best Always,

CEO