When Life Gives You Lemons…

TheBookishWriterKiwi came up with the MBTI to “when life gives you lemons…” for every personality.

ISFP: When life gives you lemons, grab them and eat them as fast as you can before life decides to take them back.
baby-eating-lemon-funny

ESFP: When life gives you lemons, ask for salt and tequila and throw a party!

glee animated GIF

ISTP: When life gives you lemons you squirt them into the eyes of your enemies.

man animated GIF

ESTP: When I life gives you lemons, put them on your nipples and make lemon juice.

juice animated GIF

INTP: When life, gives you lemons, you must clone those lemons and make super lemons then you create a new lemon race. adventure time animated GIF

ENTP: When life gives you lemons, construct a crude electrochemical battery. Then ??? Then profit.

money animated GIF

INTJ:  If life gives you lemons, deal with it.

deal with it animated GIF

ENTJ: If life gives you lemons, throw them at life…see if life will make the same mistake again. Nothing messes with you.

workaholics animated GIF

INFP:  When life gives you lemons you use your magical powers and spells to make it into an orange juice. Or you just write about the lemons.

harry potter animated GIF

ENFP: When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it. (Because ENFPs don’t read the directions)

ellen page animated GIF

INFJ: When life give you lemons, eat them, they are good for you – life knows best.

acceptance speech animated GIF

ENFJ: When life gives you lemons, store them in your fridge until you have guests over.

dog animated GIF

ISFJ: When life gives you lemons, keep calm and make lemonade.

modern family animated GIF

ESFJ: When life gives you lemons make a cookbook out of it and become the next Martha Stewart.

ISTJ: When life gives you lemons make lemonade.chelsea handler animated GIF

ESTJ: When life gives you lemons, wipe out every lemon farm, and sell the last 2 lemons for profit.

parks and rec animated GIF

 

Best Always,

CEO

28 Kinds of People You’ll Come Across on Valentine’s Day

Well folks, love it or hate it…Valentine’s Day is here! This day has so many mixed reviews, you’re bound to stumble upon one or even a couple of the following types of people.

1) The single ladies at the club:

2) The person who puts way too much wasabi on their California Roll during date night:

 

3) The person who’s quarreling with their partner, but doesn’t want to be because Valentine’s Day:

misscyanidecupcake:</p><br /><br /><br />
<p>This is how I feel right now. Why do adults always have to yell at each other whenever they are feeling distressed? I believe that yelling does nothing but make problems worse. Not only that, but it stresses the other people around them. People should learn how to communicate with each other in a calm and civil manner.<br /><br /><br /><br />

4) The person who spends Valentine’s Day with their cat:

megganlorelei:</p><br /><br /><br />
<p>For Dani :D

5) The single person that looks at couples with hardcore side-eye:

6) The person whose heart is so cold, this happens at the mere mention of Valentine’s Day:

7) The person who’s their own Valentine:

8) The “You better do better than just a dinner” Valentine:

9) The single ladies in the club living it up:

10) The person who normally goes to restaurants alone, but refuses to on Valentine’s Day:

on point for valentine’s day!

11) The person who does not want to be bothered with Valentine’s Day breakfast:

12) The person whose love life is non-existent:

13) The Netflix binger:

::Netflix, you’re my one & only::

14) The person who has a significant other, but forgot all about Valentine’s Day and has to rush to get a gift:

15) The person who doesn’t give a flying feather what day it is:

16) The person who takes 10 years to get ready:

::perfection takes time::

17) The super feminist:

18) The person that’s really upset about not having a Valentine:

19) The marriage-bound couple:

perfectly-shy:</p><br /><br /><br />
<p>Okay I was rewatching The Beat alls episode and the reason I just love this episode is because it was really cute seeing Mojojo fall in love. I thought it was utterly adorable in the episode that they were holding hands and doing “evil” stuff together. I always felt bad for Mojojo’s character because he’s a bitter primate who has been very lonely. He seemed really happy being with Moko Jono (Though she actually didn’t like him and wasn’t even an criminal) , but I don’t know I thought it was the cutest thing ever.

20) The person who’s pumped as hell for Valentine’s Day:

officialcherhorowitz:</p><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>turnt up<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />

21) The person who’s stuck working on Valentine’s Day:

22) The person who doesn’t necessarily have a Valentine, but appreciates the nature of the love-filled holiday:

23) The comfortable couple having a Valentine’s Day date night:

24) The person that absolutely loves their Valentine’s Day gift:

::insta coming soon::

25) The person that’s beyond ready for the Valentine’s Day themed party tonight:

26) The excited single person planning the girl’s night out:

27) The bitter Betty:

powerpuff-save-the-day:</p><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>i feel u

28) The dominatrix:

::especially after 50 Shades of Grey::

 Have a great day everyone!

CEO ❤

Confessions of a Witty Waitress Part II

You all know.. I wasn’t done…

giphy (39)and I’ll probably never be done as long as I’m in the service industry. Here are some more love/hate aspects of the very unpredictable life of a waitress.

LOVE: MOLDING MY PEOPLE SKILLS

One meets every kind of person working in the service industry; one sees the good,

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the bad,

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LOVE: 50% OFF FOOD/FREE FOOD

Nothing like spending less/no money on food.

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HATE: THE BIG BILLS

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Pay your bill that’s $27.53 with a $100 bill and we’re gonna have a problem.. in my head. 

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LOVE: FOOD MISPRONUNCIATION

Herb, salmon, andouille sauce… keep it coming guys it’s a little giggle.. in my head… every time.

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HATE: BEER LISTS/WINE LIST/ ALCOHOL LISTS

Alcohol makes a bill/check go from 0-100 really quick, BUT… I have had countless moments when a drink is on the menu and the bar is out of stock (ALWAYS ASK THE MANAGER/ BARTENDER) #makethatadouble

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HATE: DECLINED CARDS

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It’s just super awkward and I’m the queen of making awkward situations… more awkward.

HATE: COUPONS

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(I honestly don’t mind coupons) If you’re using one.. tip out the original bill. #TimesAreHard

LOVE: MEETING BOMB/AWESOME/HAPPY PEOPLE

When I crack a witty joke and you laugh, you’re awesome. Even if you’re upset, I’ll still TRY (my hardest) to find a way to make you crack a smile. Politeness and just plain smiling go a really long way with me. I will make sure your experience at the restaurant is exceptional. We work together to make the goal (feeding you) not just possible, but a very pleasant event.

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Best always,

CEO

P.S. I do not intend to anger or upset anyone with my posts about waitressing. I honestly enjoy what I do, so I really should not be complaining. However, humans need to vent and why notttttt on my blog. Please do not take any offense/ I hope I made you smile!

Video

#Harristocracy

Introducing the Buddha of Monmouth University, Professor Mary Harris. I was raiding YouTube and I found her channel! This video made me feel like I was sitting in her class listening to her give her excellent life advice. Professor Harris has a lifestyle channel called Sprout & Blossom to accompany her blog/website Sprout and Blossom Wellness. Subscribe/follow her for overall happiness in your life. #Harristocracy

Confessions of a Witty Waitress

I’ve been waitressing for about 2 years now at a popular chain restaurant and let me tell ya… the love/hate relationship flourishes in both directions after every shift.

LOVE: FAST MONEY

we cant stop, miley cyrus, eating money

#selfexplanatory #themoneyisthmotive

LOVE: BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN

They give me incredibly high expectations on how my future children might look… *sigh*

mason disick, keeping up with the kardashians

HATE: MESSY/ LOUD CHILDREN

fat baby

Cancels cute factors immediately…IMMEDIATELY.
#cleanmysectionchild #whomadethisbigmess #YOUchild

HATE: PEOPLE THAT DON’T TIP AT LEAST 20%

will smith
*takes a breather* It’s honestly just unfair to us as servers. Most of us get paid $2.14 hourly.

HATE: THE UNCERTAINTY

You never know how slow/busy the restaurant is going to be. You never know what section you’re going to get. You never know how high your checks are going to be and how much a table is going to tip you. #everydayisamystery

 kirsten stewart

HATE: CLOSING

oprah

One must mentally prepare themselves to close a restaurant…

HATE: MODIFICATION OVERLOAD

“May I have the Chipotle Burger cooked medium rare. Can I substitute the lettuce, tomato, and onion for a couple slices of avocado? Also, can I add bacon and instead of fries.. May I have sautéed spinach?”

What I say:

michelle tanner, full house
How I feel inside:

squidward, spongebob

If you have to make so many changes to an entree… keep reading the menu and choose something else. Usually, a lot of work goes into preparing these recipes by experienced chefs. For the most part, there’s a reason the foods are paired up the way they are. Unless a serious allergy is the case, too many modifications are a capital N O.

HATE: ALLERGIES

One allergy is okay. My restaurant has an allergy book that makes it simple for guests with an allergy to choose something to eat. HOWEVER, if you have more than one, you’re entering a danger zone when you choose to eat at a restaurant.

meg griffin, family guy

LOVE: MY COWORKERS

#SQUAAAD Anytime one is with a group of people enduring the same struggle, bonds are easily made.

friends

to be continued…

Best always,
CEO

Christine Gets Interviewed

QUESTION 1: WHICH SOCIAL MEDIA OR DIGITAL MARKETING BLOGS OR NEWS SOURCES DO YOU READ ON A DAILY BASIS?

Desired Response: On a daily basis I visit a combination of Web-focused publications. Reading on a daily basis is a must in this type of position because major changes literally happen over night to social media platforms, search engine algorithms, mobile apps, websites, “smart devices” and other social media and digital marketing tools. I’m always looking to learn as much as I can to stay ahead of the curve.

My response:

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I keep up with news via Twitter. Following newspapers (The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, USA Today, etc), personalities that range from Barack Obama to David Tutera, news shows (TODAY, Dr.Oz, FOX News, NBC, CBS, etc), magazines (SELF MagazinePsychology Today, etc), and online publications (Mashable, PRWeb, PR News, etc).

QUESTION 2: DO YOU WRITE YOUR OWN SOCIAL MEDIA AND DIGITAL MARKETING CONTENT? IF SO, WHAT IS YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS?

Desired Response: I prefer to write my own content for social media and digital marketing updates and campaigns, because I already have the end goal and strategy in mind. My creative process includes planning sessions, content reviews, the use of a social media content calendar, a posting tool if I’m posting to multiple sites per day. The content should all be guided by the strategy to ensure that the company is exceeding the set goals and expectations.

My response: I do write my own content whenever I feel inspired. I get inspired with the media and my surroundings.

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In general, whenever I have an idea for a blog post, I write it down and get to it after I do further research. If I ever have writers’ block, I listen to music and that usually helps a lot.

QUESTION 3: EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEO AND SEM.

Desired Response: Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is the process of affecting the placement of a website in natural, unpaid (organic) search engine results. Search engine marketing (SEM) is a form of Internet marketing that affects the placement of a website in the search engine page results through a combination of SEO and paid advertising tactics.

My response:

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*opens new tab and googles* According to Staples.com, SEO is focused on organic search results — getting to the top of the list when a user searches for keywords related to your business. SEM revolves around choosing the right keywords to invest advertising dollars in when you want to appear in the paid search results on major search engines.  I prefer SEO because I have experience tagging my life away and building an online community with tags organically. In the long run, it’s more effective when building an online community. To optimize your business virtually, a combination of both works best.

QUESTION 4: WE’RE LOOKING TO GET AHEAD OF OUR COMPETITION. WHAT TACTICS, TIPS OR TRICKS WILL YOU USE TO GIVE OUR COMPANY THAT EDGE?

Desired Response: I wouldn’t say that I use tricks in any social media or digital marketing strategy. I’m not a “black hat” marketer. I play by the common code of conduct for Internet marketing and like to conduct assessments, research and constantly adjust our content and strategy to generate the best performance. What will give a company an “edge” is being educated, trying new marketing techniques and managing your online reputation.

My response: Honestly, I rely heavily on my creativity.

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I’m always thinking outside of the octagon.

QUESTION 5: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN USING SOCIAL MEDIA SITES FOR PERSONAL OR BUSINESS USE? CAN YOU PROVIDE SOME LINKS?

Desired Response: I have been using social media sites professionally for about 5 years, but I have been using them personally for much longer. I’m more than happy to provide links to my previous work, marketing campaigns and personal social media accounts.

My response:

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I took on an Information Technology class my freshman year of college and my first thought was: “Well…this might as well be MySpace 101.” I ended up picking it up the minor and became certified upon graduation.

QUESTION 6: WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING AND DIGITAL MARKETING? HOW DOES THAT RELATE TO OUR COMPANY?

Desired Response: Social media marketing is the process of generating awareness, website traffic or new business through the use of social media sites. Digital marketing is a marketing process that brings leads and new business to a company through the use of digital channels such as email, social networks, smart phones and more. Often a misconception, internet marketing is a component of digital marketing. After conducting some basic research about your company, I can form an idea of how social media marketing and digital marketing could play a role and what the return might be. However, I’d like to conduct a full assessment before I tell you what role that will be.

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My response:  In this day in age, social media marketing and digital marketing is about humanizing a business with a clear voice.

QUESTION 7: AS A SOCIAL MEDIA AND DIGITAL MARKETING PROFESSIONAL, WHICH PLATFORMS OR TOOLS DO YOU SEE AS THE UP AND COMING SITES THAT WE SHOULD KEEP OUR EYE ON?

Desired Response: In 2013 social media has become all about engagement. With that, we should be looking to sites like Vine, Instagram, Pinterest and the new MySpace. We should also be constantly be looking at what’s new with Google, as their new products and features could benefit B2C companies. Of course, all of this should be consistent with the goals and approaches set out in our strategy.

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My response: Video sharing sites aren’t going anywhere anytime soon (YouTube, Vine, etc). All existing platforms will make sure video becomes an easy to use feature on their site. I can see businesses using SnapChat to really connect with their users on a personal level. I can also see the power of the hashtag continuing to grow.

QUESTION 10: IF WE HIRE YOU, WHAT IS THE FIRST THING THAT YOU WOULD DO FOR THE COMPANY IN THIS POSITION?

Desired Response: The first thing I would do is to meet with the team and determine what goals we want to set using social media and digital marketing. After that, I would conduct an assessment on the company and its competition to gauge where we are in the social media and digital marketing space.

My response:

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I would first develop a social media/digital marketing plan for the company. The plan would be incredibly detailed and would not be finalized until all of the company’s administrators approved of it. Then, I would execute the plan. As time went on and the metrics showcased the results of the marketing efforts I would set up weekly meetings to discuss what in the plan is working and what needs to be altered.

 

Desired responses courtesy of Website Magazine

7 Things To Never Settle For In A Relationship

Inspired by the article called 7 Things To Never Settle For In A Relationship by Tricia Miller published by Thought Catalog, here are 7 more things to never settle for in a relationship:

1. Someone cocky.

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Well put Bender…

Humility is a prime and rare virtue in a males nowadays. Don’t ever go for the man that was suave on the first date, someone who really likes you will always be a little nervous.

2. Someone who makes you feel inferior.

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My hero Joe…

Your relationship shouldn’t be a follower-leader relationship. If you want someone who will treat you like an inferior, go find a job with a boss. Your partner should make you feel like what you are, an equal.

3. Someone who doesn’t listen to you, like really listen.

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Listen like Lloyd…

If your partner is constantly changing the subject or you feel as if he can’t carry a conversation with him, dump him. Someone who really likes you will talk about anything that you want to talk about.

4. Someone who doesn’t notice when you’ve changed something dramatic about yourself.

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It’s Wayne’s world we just live in it…

There’s a difference between not noticing a 1-inch haircut and a loss of 30 lbs. Leave, immediately.

5. Someone who treats their mother like crap.

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His relationship with his mother is a good indicator of what his relationship with other women will be like. Pay close attention.

6. Someone who treats waiters or animals like crap.

Why have this..

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When you can have:

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7. Someone who refuses to consider opinions and beliefs that are different than their own.

Close-minded people never make it far in life and are just annoying. You don’t need that kind of person in your life.

giphy (28)YES BRITNEY YES!

Best Always,

CEO