Confessions of a Witty Waitress Part II

You all know.. I wasn’t done…

giphy (39)and I’ll probably never be done as long as I’m in the service industry. Here are some more love/hate aspects of the very unpredictable life of a waitress.

LOVE: MOLDING MY PEOPLE SKILLS

One meets every kind of person working in the service industry; one sees the good,

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the bad,

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LOVE: 50% OFF FOOD/FREE FOOD

Nothing like spending less/no money on food.

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HATE: THE BIG BILLS

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Pay your bill that’s $27.53 with a $100 bill and we’re gonna have a problem.. in my head. 

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LOVE: FOOD MISPRONUNCIATION

Herb, salmon, andouille sauce… keep it coming guys it’s a little giggle.. in my head… every time.

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HATE: BEER LISTS/WINE LIST/ ALCOHOL LISTS

Alcohol makes a bill/check go from 0-100 really quick, BUT… I have had countless moments when a drink is on the menu and the bar is out of stock (ALWAYS ASK THE MANAGER/ BARTENDER) #makethatadouble

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HATE: DECLINED CARDS

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It’s just super awkward and I’m the queen of making awkward situations… more awkward.

HATE: COUPONS

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(I honestly don’t mind coupons) If you’re using one.. tip out the original bill. #TimesAreHard

LOVE: MEETING BOMB/AWESOME/HAPPY PEOPLE

When I crack a witty joke and you laugh, you’re awesome. Even if you’re upset, I’ll still TRY (my hardest) to find a way to make you crack a smile. Politeness and just plain smiling go a really long way with me. I will make sure your experience at the restaurant is exceptional. We work together to make the goal (feeding you) not just possible, but a very pleasant event.

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Best always,

CEO

P.S. I do not intend to anger or upset anyone with my posts about waitressing. I honestly enjoy what I do, so I really should not be complaining. However, humans need to vent and why notttttt on my blog. Please do not take any offense/ I hope I made you smile!

Confessions of a Witty Waitress

I’ve been waitressing for about 2 years now at a popular chain restaurant and let me tell ya… the love/hate relationship flourishes in both directions after every shift.

LOVE: FAST MONEY

we cant stop, miley cyrus, eating money

#selfexplanatory #themoneyisthmotive

LOVE: BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN

They give me incredibly high expectations on how my future children might look… *sigh*

mason disick, keeping up with the kardashians

HATE: MESSY/ LOUD CHILDREN

fat baby

Cancels cute factors immediately…IMMEDIATELY.
#cleanmysectionchild #whomadethisbigmess #YOUchild

HATE: PEOPLE THAT DON’T TIP AT LEAST 20%

will smith
*takes a breather* It’s honestly just unfair to us as servers. Most of us get paid $2.14 hourly.

HATE: THE UNCERTAINTY

You never know how slow/busy the restaurant is going to be. You never know what section you’re going to get. You never know how high your checks are going to be and how much a table is going to tip you. #everydayisamystery

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HATE: CLOSING

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One must mentally prepare themselves to close a restaurant…

HATE: MODIFICATION OVERLOAD

“May I have the Chipotle Burger cooked medium rare. Can I substitute the lettuce, tomato, and onion for a couple slices of avocado? Also, can I add bacon and instead of fries.. May I have sautéed spinach?”

What I say:

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How I feel inside:

squidward, spongebob

If you have to make so many changes to an entree… keep reading the menu and choose something else. Usually, a lot of work goes into preparing these recipes by experienced chefs. For the most part, there’s a reason the foods are paired up the way they are. Unless a serious allergy is the case, too many modifications are a capital N O.

HATE: ALLERGIES

One allergy is okay. My restaurant has an allergy book that makes it simple for guests with an allergy to choose something to eat. HOWEVER, if you have more than one, you’re entering a danger zone when you choose to eat at a restaurant.

meg griffin, family guy

LOVE: MY COWORKERS

#SQUAAAD Anytime one is with a group of people enduring the same struggle, bonds are easily made.

friends

to be continued…

Best always,
CEO

7 Things To Never Settle For In A Relationship

Inspired by the article called 7 Things To Never Settle For In A Relationship by Tricia Miller published by Thought Catalog, here are 7 more things to never settle for in a relationship:

1. Someone cocky.

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Well put Bender…

Humility is a prime and rare virtue in a males nowadays. Don’t ever go for the man that was suave on the first date, someone who really likes you will always be a little nervous.

2. Someone who makes you feel inferior.

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My hero Joe…

Your relationship shouldn’t be a follower-leader relationship. If you want someone who will treat you like an inferior, go find a job with a boss. Your partner should make you feel like what you are, an equal.

3. Someone who doesn’t listen to you, like really listen.

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Listen like Lloyd…

If your partner is constantly changing the subject or you feel as if he can’t carry a conversation with him, dump him. Someone who really likes you will talk about anything that you want to talk about.

4. Someone who doesn’t notice when you’ve changed something dramatic about yourself.

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It’s Wayne’s world we just live in it…

There’s a difference between not noticing a 1-inch haircut and a loss of 30 lbs. Leave, immediately.

5. Someone who treats their mother like crap.

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His relationship with his mother is a good indicator of what his relationship with other women will be like. Pay close attention.

6. Someone who treats waiters or animals like crap.

Why have this..

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When you can have:

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7. Someone who refuses to consider opinions and beliefs that are different than their own.

Close-minded people never make it far in life and are just annoying. You don’t need that kind of person in your life.

giphy (28)YES BRITNEY YES!

Best Always,

CEO

25 Things Every Woman Should Have By The Time She Turns 25

Thought Catalog

1. Enough confidence to no longer feel the need to justify what she eats, who she dates or what she wears, not only to other people, but to herself. 

2. The goal of a bank account with a few months’ living expenses in it, if she doesn’t have that already. Just in case.

3. Only the phone numbers, Facebook friends, weekend plans, and roommates she actually wants.

4. A best friend who is like a sister.

5. A space of her own.

6. A good idea of what she needs in a romantic relationship, not just what she wants, or what she thinks she needs, and the willingness to explore different people and other ideas to find what exactly that is.

7. A closet of what she considers to be her “staples,” and among these things, something to wear to an interview, funeral, wedding, impromptu Friday night drink at a casual bar…

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14 Things New Jersey Does Better

Thought Catalog

Make fun of New Jersey all you want – more room on the beach for me.

1. City accessibility

Not that I really ever want to leave NJ, but if I do, I have plenty of options. I live about an hour from New York City, an hour from Philadelphia, and less than two hours from Atlantic City. Baltimore, Boston, and Washington, D.C. are all close enough for a long weekend trip. You can’t beat the East Coast in that sense.

2. Celebrities

I’m not talking about the cast of Jersey Shore… most of them aren’t even from the Garden State. Famous figures are practically bred here. Demigod Bruce Springsteen, legend Bon Jovi, screen icon Meryl Streep, renowned singer Whitney Houston, hilarious actor Jason Alexander, moon-walking astronaut Buzz Aldrin, Forbes Magazine’s Steve Forbes…I could go on all day. You’re welcome, world.

3. Roller coasters and rides

Disney World has nothing on…

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