Confessions of a Witty Waitress

I’ve been waitressing for about 2 years now at a popular chain restaurant and let me tell ya… the love/hate relationship flourishes in both directions after every shift.

LOVE: FAST MONEY

we cant stop, miley cyrus, eating money

#selfexplanatory #themoneyisthmotive

LOVE: BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN

They give me incredibly high expectations on how my future children might look… *sigh*

mason disick, keeping up with the kardashians

HATE: MESSY/ LOUD CHILDREN

fat baby

Cancels cute factors immediately…IMMEDIATELY.
#cleanmysectionchild #whomadethisbigmess #YOUchild

HATE: PEOPLE THAT DON’T TIP AT LEAST 20%

will smith
*takes a breather* It’s honestly just unfair to us as servers. Most of us get paid $2.14 hourly.

HATE: THE UNCERTAINTY

You never know how slow/busy the restaurant is going to be. You never know what section you’re going to get. You never know how high your checks are going to be and how much a table is going to tip you. #everydayisamystery

 kirsten stewart

HATE: CLOSING

oprah

One must mentally prepare themselves to close a restaurant…

HATE: MODIFICATION OVERLOAD

“May I have the Chipotle Burger cooked medium rare. Can I substitute the lettuce, tomato, and onion for a couple slices of avocado? Also, can I add bacon and instead of fries.. May I have sautéed spinach?”

What I say:

michelle tanner, full house
How I feel inside:

squidward, spongebob

If you have to make so many changes to an entree… keep reading the menu and choose something else. Usually, a lot of work goes into preparing these recipes by experienced chefs. For the most part, there’s a reason the foods are paired up the way they are. Unless a serious allergy is the case, too many modifications are a capital N O.

HATE: ALLERGIES

One allergy is okay. My restaurant has an allergy book that makes it simple for guests with an allergy to choose something to eat. HOWEVER, if you have more than one, you’re entering a danger zone when you choose to eat at a restaurant.

meg griffin, family guy

LOVE: MY COWORKERS

#SQUAAAD Anytime one is with a group of people enduring the same struggle, bonds are easily made.

friends

to be continued…

Best always,
CEO

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